A Rainbow of Words

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

what wud i do different if i cud re-live my life?

i jus realised, hw fragile life is..
what wud i do differently if i cud re-live my life? hmms.. tt's really a question to ponder on..
i tink i really do think alot when i'm online.. or when i watch tv.. think the most when i'm troubled or when i'm playing minesweeper..

if i cud re-live my life.. i prolly wud wrk alot alot harder.. like mayb if i knew things better, i would have carried on in st margs. do well there and move on to SAJC.. yet, if i did tt, means i wudnt have been in css.. means i wudnt have known shuyun, i wudnt have known vincent.. i wudnt have those wonderful and fond memories i have nw. also, i wudnt have all the pain i'm feeling inside of me nw. i definitely wouldnt be who and what i am nw..

i wouldnt have known mr oon, mrs ong, so many ppl who've impacted my life one way or another. i mean i really cant imagine life without VINCENT and SHUYUN. who wud i go shopping with? who will i call late at nite to talk to? who wud bring me to play pool? in the first place, i prolly wouldnt even be so addicted to pool. i wouldnt known josh.. there're so many things that wud totally change my life.

i wouldnt have joined band, become a band major, or a deputy band major, wouldnt get backstabbed by ppl who i'd call friends. wouldnt have hurt myself physically so much.. my foot wont have gotten injured. my toe wud be intact.

there're so many ppl that i've met in canberra that means so much to me.. they are the ones that would make me nt want to re-live my life.. ppl whom i definitely nv regret knowing : SHUYUN, VINCENT.. this two ppl, i tell u.. are so so so so impt in my life lah. like my best friends.. ppl whom i feel know me inside out. i nt sure if vincent really does know me all that well.. but i'm sure shuyun does.

SHE's simply AMAZING lah. she's been there for me like almost for everything thruout sec sku! even tried to make time for me aft we grad.. tho we meet lesser nw, but i tell u, it wud definitely be a BIG waste if i nv knew her. i live in semb for like 7 yrs. nv knew her til first day of sec 1. i jus am so grateful and really APPRECIATE this wonderful best friend i have.. :)) thanks shuyun.. i really love u! u're great dear! :D *hugs*

and vincent..
ha.. the tot of u jus makes me smile. actually, dunno to smile or to cry. lols.. thinking hw much we've been thru together.. all the happy times, sad times.. crazy times.. childish times.. hw i feel we've both matured thru our friendship.. really wana thank U again, for making me laugh, for teaching me stuff.. and of coz for teaching me POOL! hahhas.. totally love it. i know, many times i've been really veri selfish.. nv tot of his feelings.. nv really knew wad he was tinking or wad he wanted..and so acted on my own.. honestly, the first day i met him, i knew he wud be sumone whom wud cross paths with me. no, i'm nt crazy or wad. i dint stalk him or anything. we were jus classmates. hahas. hw our friendship developed, i oso dunno.. it jus did.

tho i oso did hate him for alot stuff.. and all the emotional hurt he caused.. i know he dint mean it. and becoz of the softhearted nature GOD has given me, i've long ago forgiven him.. praying that he would forgive me of all the wrongs i've done. and hurts i've caused him.. SORRY dear.. life without him wouldnt be complete. really. i know GOD allowed our paths to cross coz GOD wanted me to have this friendship with him. it was like GOD-given. jus like shuyun, will always be one of my special and most treasured friends..vincent, i love u too! :D tho u're always quiet.. but i thank U for the many times when u jus hung on on the other side of the line and jus listened to me pour out my frustrations and listened to all my noise. never regretted knowing u.. and u know sumthing, i can nv forget u.. hahas..really love u loads. ha.. THANK YOU dear.. *big thanks and hugs*

moving on to the so many other ppl tt i wudnt have known, like josh, reeza, xinying, junhong, weiteck, mel, nadira, ruixiang, ronnie, kairul, chelsea, huzaimi, chris, pearline, miaos.. (dun get offended if i dint mentioned ur name k?) ppl who have 1 way or another cross my paths. it may nt have been the best of all the friendships i hold.. but i truly thank U for the times when u've been there for me.. celebrated christmas, birthdays.. ha.. i will definitely nv forget u guys!

to josh:
thanks for all the fun u've brought during sec sku.. its kinda funny to think back hw i actually met u.. yet, we're like actually much closer after sec sku.. hahas. great to have u as a bro! thanks for listening to me when i nid a listening ear too!

to reeza:
thanks for all the badminton stuff, the walking me hm.. the long long chats on the phone.. u've been a great friend. felt like i've known u for ages.. thanks for celebrating my birthdays. and christmases!! haa..

to xinying:
thanks for being that good sister.. who wud willingly accompany for dinner and lunches.. allow me to slp in ur hse.. hahas. and for always giving me those big hugs.. and for letting me still feel loved whenever i go back to sku!

to junhong:
tho, i dun tink u'll read my blog, stil wana thank U.. tho we've drifted far apart nw.. i'll nv forget those days where we play badminton together. go for lunch tog. celebrate lantern festival tog. u've been a great brother!

to weiteck:
gosh, i tink this is gonna be long.. i can nv thank u enuff for all the times i cried, u cheered me up.. be it whether u're with me.. or on the phone, or in band, or online.. u're really one who makes ppl happy wherever u go.. thanks for all the encouragement all these yrs.. thanks for the songs u wrote! thanks for the late nites out sitting downstairs and jus talking..and sending me hm.. u're really one of the greatest friends i have too! if i were to go on, ppl wud think i'm crazy.. but we both know hw much this friendship holds. hahas..

to mel:
thanks esp for tt nite u and nizam walked with me hm.. talked with me and comforted me. thanks for all those times we laughed tog. did silly stuff tog.. and for all the hugs too! haa.. thanks sister!! :D

to nad:
thanks for the hugs, thanks for making me feel welcome whenever i cum back for band. and thanks also, for looking after the younger percussionist! u're a great leader! :D

to ruixiang:
oh gosh, another long one! ha! ruixiang!!! thanks for being such a super duper good friend and good brother.. always lending me ur shoulders esp when i'm tired or sian.. hahas. thanks for all the sweets and always making me laugh. thanks for all the little treats.. and thanks for being such a good bass drummer.. wonder wad all of us wud do without u! :P really loads of thanks.

to ronnie:
i've gt to thank u too.. tho we arent really tt close, but we all belong to the same band family.. and u know wad? u were there for me at the downest part of my life. ha.. u may nt remember it.. but i wont forget.. thanks for lending me ur converse jacket, for lending me ur shoulders as my pillow during band camp. thanks for walking me hm and sharing stuff with me tt nite we had band bbq. thanks for all the fun! u're a great brother too!

to khairul, chels,chris and huz:
thanks for all those late nites, jus sitting downstairs at the void deck.. being crazy. talking abt life.. talking abt band.. thanks to khai for chatting with me.. thanks to chels, for always being there when i'm sad.. sharing stuff with me.. laughing with me.. thanks huz, for all the gimmicks u taught us.. and for allowing us to slack in ur hse during CNY! lols..

to miaos and pearl:
gosh, i wonder wad wud sec 3 and 4 life in class be without the both of u. thanks for all the sweets we've shared. thanks for all the fun we had in shopping.. thanks for so many many things u gals have done! and most of all, thanks for all the friendship we have had and for the many more years to come..

this is really getting long, so in a nutshell, i wont wana re-live my life.. becoz tho there were points in life tt i feel i was going nowhere.. but nw tt i tink back abt it.. life really cudnt be any better.. and life without u.. yes, U.. each and everyone of u.. wud be meaningless.. esp, without GOD.. thank U papa GOD for every friend u've given to me..

treasure everyone around u.. really, dun let ur pride get in the way, coz life is short and fragile, u nv know when sumone whom u really love or treasure might jus go...............

i really love all of U! will remember u always.. oh yes, thanks everyone for taking so many many pictures and neoprints with me!!!! tt's sumthing i'll nv throw away or lose! ha..

takecares!!

LOVE,
CHARI** ((:

How am i ever to tell u hw much u mean to me?
the words jus nv come whenever i have the chance...
perhaps, some things are better left unsaid...
still, i wud nv forget u..
loving you always..
and always meaning forever...

Slid down the rainbow at 00:46

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