A Rainbow of Words

Thursday, December 14, 2006

jus sum random tots

Just sum random tots.. have u ever felt like u love 2 ppl at the same time? or u're kinda unsure who u actually love? like u jus cant forget this particular special sumone.. always wanting to share good and bad times with? i really feel its time for me to move on.........

hahas.. for sum of u who read this, may tink gosh, CHARI's nuts.. u mean she hasnt gotten over him? honestly speaking, nope.. i haven.. haa.. i really truly tink that when u love sumone, it really embraces everything else.. like it covers and takes away all the flaws of the other person. like u really will love the person for who he/she is. its kinda amazing isnt it? ha.

i mean its nt exactly i haven let go of tt relationship. jus feelings cum and go. and it has been the best relationship. and i haven grasped the full meaning of putting myself totally in GOD's hands. i mean like, of coz i trust HIM la. and tt GOD wont let u endure sumthing u cannot tahan.. i know.. and i jus want to really let go and continue tt friendship. i tink we do have a great friendship la. right frm the first day i know him.. til nw. tho we had our rows. our "fights" our ups and downs. but i stil do treasure this friend la. i mean i really wana know, how and wad muz i do to fully enjoy this friendship and nt allow feelings to develop all over again and nt hurt each other?

gaaa!!! i'm going nuts la.. its like its all happening at the same time. i mean i do miss those days. and i did wish he was stil here with me.. but i'm sure GOD has HIS plans for me.. its so tough and i gt to do it.. its like i wana relive those days, and at the same time, i wana let go.

sumone once told me, its difficult becoz of sumthing called SOUL TIES.. hais.. its nt really peer pressure, tho i do have to admit tt i'm veri afraid one day i'll be sitting alone in sku, shopping alone, becoz every one of my friends will have their other half to be with.

its like today i purposely waited til abt 9.. then called shuyun and asked her if wana go hm tog. and its like elroy was with her la. she asked me if i wana go hm with them. and i was like, erms.. if u guys dun mind. but obviously she minds la. i mean i'm nt angry or anything. coz i understand, like i've been there.. but its like, i'm kinda disappointed lor. gosh, i miss him so veri much lah!!!!!!!!!!!!

yet, he doesnt wana commit. or mayb he's moved on.. went on to liking sumone else... mayb he doesnt like me anymore.. and mayb even finds me childish and dumb.. loud and irritating. i know i can be that at times. and i apologise to everyone who has to put up with my nonsense every nw and then. SORRY!

hais, do u actually understand hw i feel? or do i really have to spell every single thing out? gosh, this is crazy.... i'm losing my sleep....................................
dear GOD, please teach me to fully immerse myself in YOU.. i love him, yes, i admit, but i love u more becoz i chose to obey YOU! i nida loads of love!!!! my love tank's kinda low nw.. =///

love,
CHARI** =//

Slid down the rainbow at 00:24

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