A Rainbow of Words

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

gahh.. am i sick?

i've been wondering, for the past hr, if i'm really physically sick or jus mentally ill.

oh wells, my itchy throat thingy is still there. and i'm aching all over the place. but i tink its my poor brains and heart tt is suffering the most.

okayy, stay clear of things u like to do. stay clear of friends. stay clear of everything except water, slp and my notes...

GAHH. NO LIFE. NO LIFE. NO LIFE.

GOSH. i nid to get out of this mental state, yeah, its jus a mind game, how strong ur will is, how much u want something. how badly u want it, and how far u wud go to get it. HELLO!! i know alrigght??!

i'm wasting time. its true. its nt tt i dun wana do well, i jus guess i dun feel the WANTING IT SO BADLY i'd do ANYTHING to get those GRADES. =.=

oh chari.. u jus got to stay focus, oh chari, u jus gt to know when to take a break, u got to know when to study, take breaks in btw.. u know u can do it. come on, dun give up, jus a few more mths.. GAHH! ENOUGH! i know alright?! i know. HELLO!?! if i didnt know, then mayb it might nt be tt HARD. the thing is i KNOW. and i hate the feeling. i really hate it.

O lvls wasnt tt hard, coz even tho i didnt have perfect friends, i had REAL friends. ppl who dragged me out to study. ppl who studied the whole nite with me, ppl who studied frm night to day and drank milo with me and all. i had those kind of friends. so it was alot easier. coz i saw hw hard they were working as well, but now, i dun see it, i dun feel it. and day by day it passes, but i dun feel the urgency. i really dun. I KNOW its urgent, but i'm nt doing anything!!

yeah, shoot me if u wana, whatever. whose fault is it anyway? MINE. i know. so if u dun have anything nice to say at this pt, then dun, coz i'm srry, at the moment now, its beyond me to appreciate (slap-in-the-face) "wake up" remarks.

everyone's so bz caring abt their OWN lives, no one has time to care for anyone else anyways. what's this world now? yepp, i'm jus adding on to the global warming here. well, i'm SORRY.

u know, i hate ugly posts. but i'm feeling so rarr and so down, it jus has to come out somewhere. i'm gonna get out of it. i will. i want to. yeah, dun worry, i wont die. YET.

charii

Slid down the rainbow at 18:46

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